Hints & Tips
Guess what I did on the Bank Holiday? It’s multiple choice
- Did I have a scintillating and successful Bank Holiday barbecue in my smart and airy back garden, complete with beautiful people, flowing champagne and the delicious aromas of perfectly roasted meats wafting through the trees as the sounds of bonhomie and joi de vivre drifted across the urban landscape?
- Did I jet off to some mysterious foreign destination for a romantic rendezvous with a sexy stranger, complete with sultry long looks and and an unforgettable repast in a destination restaurant as the scents of Michelin star cooking drifted across the bay and the sensual kiss of a gentle sea breeze gently brushed my cheek?
- Or, did I trudge around various giant aircraft-hanger sized superstores including a certain oversized scandanavian furniture warehouse in that there North London with my BFF B moaning about the infidelity of her pesky boyfriend while we searched for a some picture hooks, a bean bag and a flatpack wardrobe before finally succumbing to scoffing meatballs and chips in the car park as B cried into her diet Pepsi?
Yes. You guessed it. Another Bank Holiday that turned out to be as productive and fun as a Trump press conference. What is this obsession with holiday shopping all about? How many tea-lights and short-lived bookcases do you need?
And it’s not just the Scandinavian aircraft hanger variety of BH shopping, even though that particular jaunt is high up in the top ten of many people’s idea of the hell; no, everywhere you go people are struggling across warehouses, furniture outlets or hyper-sized, out of town, mult-product supermarkets, their arms filled with plastic potted plants, picture frames, food, cheap designer hand-bags, sports gear and articulated lories full of stuff they then have to try to get home in one piece. And all this when they could be relaxing in the back garden, watching a family movie or preparing a lovely home cooked meal for everyone while the shopping is taken care of online. That is my idea of shopping on a Bank Holiday.
My day was full of screaming children jumping on wobbly bunk-beds and running into people, men whose faces showed very clearly that they were silently praying for the end of all things while they tried to ignore the family and look up the football scores on their smartphones and women trying in vain to get those men interested in the contemporary design of some scatter cushions. (This is never going to happen, no man I have ever met has fully understood the true value of a good cushion).
And as for poor B. She was buying a new wardrobe for her spare room since that is where her Godzilla of a boyfriend is going to be sleeping for some time after she found out he had been playing fast and loose with the affections of her pilates teacher.
How did she find out? Caught him red-handed in her own flat! I am totally with her in her grief and anger but what’s interesting to me is how she is the one buying the wardrobe and how she is letting him stay on in her flat and how she totally ignored my suggestion that she cut up all his clothes, spray him liberally with chilli sauce and push him out of a window.
Either way, I had no option for though I loath BH shopping with a passion I normally reserve for people who wait until. the last minute to get heir bus fare out having cued for 20 minutes, I would never dream of letting her down in her hour of need…well eight hours if you count the driving round the 406 and looking for a car parking space.
Oh and next bank Holiday, don’t stump around all the giant shops for your gardening needs, shop on line with MowDirect, get FREE delivery and expert advice on anything you want to buy. Just visit our super website or call 0345 4588 905 (9am-5pm Mon-Fri & 10am-4pm Sat) and speak to our lovely team of product advisors…
“Have bought strimmers and a lawnmower from MowDirect. Great for advice and reviews. Brilliant service and prompt delivery. Wouldn’t go anywhere else.” CHRISTINE P.
See ya! Holly.