Last week I played Golf. Don’t laugh! Just let those words sink in for a second, digest and savour them and, just before you ask one of the many questions that are perched on your lips about to strike, such as Why? How? When? or Why are you telling me this I’m busy? I will tell you that I was playing at Fareham Woods Golf Course in the lovely county of Hampshire, courtesy of my friend Jake, old friend of my Pa, lifelong golferer person and one of the handsomest men ever to swing his Jigger at a Titleist.
To be honest, I don’t really play (surprise, surprise) my swing is my handicap and my handicap is my swing and, as for my general game, it turns out that I slice more than James Martin and hook more than Dylan Hartley, but I was – as ever – up for fun and frolics and I look perky in Argyle sporstwear, so I popped down there there with my friend Polly, a game lass with forearms like a trucker and a longer drive with a wood than Clarendon House. We had a lovely trip down there in her Frog-Eyed Sprite and, luckily the weather was kind.
The golf itself was uneventful… if you don’t count one of my sliced drives knocking a man off his buggy… and as usual my haphazard but plucky attempts at getting the little ball across great distances into the little holes were all too often treated to fate’s middle finger…
The Dream…
…the Reality!
….but, after all, the sun shone, the birds tweeted and we were staying in a dinky little country pub with fantastic food so the après-golf was going to be lovely, and the wine in the club bar was pretty fruity too.
Obviously Polly won our round, she’s a proper Jeeves and Woosteresque sporting gel’, all energy and bounce like a Boden-clad labrador , if you don’t exercise her regularly she goes mad.
So while she went off to swim and use up the excess energy she had left after pinging her way round an eighteen hole golf course for several hours and before the afore-mentioned Cabernet fueled jollies, I took a gentle walk around the grounds with Jake.
Fareham Woods is a links course and the area is very picturesque but the most impressive aspect about it was the surface on the putting greens. Like a carpet made of grass. My goodness they know how to mow and talk about lush. I’ve not seen anything that green since I came back from two months in India to find I’d left some smoked salmon canapés in the fridge. I asked one of the groundsmen and I ask how they keep the greens so beautifully verdant.
He told me first of all that generally golf greens are situated in areas that get the most sunlight and are very well watered. Groundkeepers will often, if not always, water with purified water, making sure there are no pesticides in it, and keeping a check on this regularly. You could do the same at home by using filters on your hose when you water your garden.
They also use water at different trajectories rather than just from one direction…who knew?
It did make me think how watering is very important generally in on your lawn and in your garden generally, and how some people (me up til now) just kind of pop outside, absent-mindedly sprinkle some on their plants and expect it to world. My friend Brody, the grumpy gardener, told me you have to give the ground a really good soak. Drench the area around the plants. That way the water gets right into the soil, softens it and allows the roots to spread.
I notice my colleague Drew was droning on about staying hydrated last week and I know he feels the same way about the garden He swears by saturating the ground around his tomatoes in the greenhouse, and he always gets a good crop.
But back to lawns. At this time of year all, the experts say you should be mowing regularly, feeding and weeding.
And then , as the summer moves on, you will need to be thinking about preparing for Autumn, gradually cutting your lawn shorter to get it ready without damaging it. But that’s for another day.
Anyway, bit of a serious one for me but those greens were really jpolly impressive so I’m certainly going to take a lot more care of mine after my visit. Hope you do too. See ya! Holly.
