I could start this piece with cheesy references to Kung Fu, Jet Li, and Motorcycle Maintenance, call you variations of ‘Grasshopper’, and reference ‘bathroom-book Zen’ style concepts like ‘You must must not merely cut the grass; you must be the grass, live the grass, inhabit the grass and let it fill your consciousness’. That would be easy and cheap, and I am definitely not going to do it. No. I am merely going to offer you some pointers on how to make lawn mowing easier, more fun and more efficient without you spending a fortune or achieving a hernia. Now. Open your mind Grasscutter and let the five pillars of Zen Lawn Mowing flow through you. Damn, perhaps I am going to be cheap after all…wouldn’t be the first time.
1. To Do is To Be – Free your Mind & Mow the Lawn
Listen Grasscatcher, the very act of mowing your lawn brings its share of inner calm and stillness. Turn off your mind, empty it of disturbing thoughts and concentrate fully on the simple task of cutting your grass. This discipline, where work itself is seen as a meditation, is revered by some ancient cultures (and I’m not talking about what’s collecting on the week old yoghurt in your fridge.) Repetitive tasks can help you clear the mind and focus on a puzzle or conundrum, which may be otherwise be disturbing your karma, like “What would you add to powdered water?”. This will more than make up for any stress and strain you pick up by pushing your rotary mower around the garden, and afterwards you will have earned your break and can sit in silence with your green tea and rice cake and what could be more Zen than that?
2. Check for Obstacles in your Path – Clear your Mind, but Clear Your Lawn First
Every path has its challenges Grasschopper, and even the right path may be strewn with obstacles. Nothing will disturb your karma more than setting out with a low pulse rate and a clear head to give your lawn a good haircut only to find you have run over one of the ‘must-have’ toys from Christmas that your child played with for twenty-five minutes and then lost in the long grass. No Grasshopper – or is it Spacehopper? – unchecked debris and detritus among the grass blades can seriously damage your mower, causing your carefully preserved karma to say bye-bye, pack its bags and go for an extended holiday to Ibiza. Check the lawn first. Then your journey through the blades will be undisturbed and the good vibes will flow…etc.
“That’s all very well love but it’s not getting the grass cut…”
3. Become One with the Machine – Self-Propelled Lawn Mowers
These items meld the will of man and the strength of machine to take the drudge from everyday life, leaving the mind to dwell on the spiritual side of the universe. This harmonious and symbiotic relationship allows you to concentrate on your inner being. Delivering a fair wallop of Zen, the self-propelled lawn mower is a boon to any gardener who wants to take things a bit easier. You have a slope or lumps in your lawn? Excellent. The self-propulsion should take care of it. You want to just ease the mower around while you mentally plan your Japanese garden? Done. Your forward drive will take the strain. From small to large lawns, from electric self-propelled creatures to petrol driven self-propelled beasts, find one that suits you and take the grunt out of grass cutting.
4. Fill the Expanding Space – Larger Grass Catchers
A broken thought pattern can mean a valuable thought is lost in the maelstrom. Here is the scenario. You just get into your stride, your mower is working well, the sun is shining and you have just started to hum the latest mantra by Emilie Sandie, which you find has a relaxing feel despite being a little miserable lyrically and suddenly…the grass catcher is overflowing. Now you have to detach it, empty it and fit it again, by which time the carefully nurtured rhythm of mowing has been disturbed and your mind has been nudged from its gentle contemplation. There is an easy solution Grassclipper. Buy a mower with a decent sized grass catcher; 40 – 50 litres is ideal for a smaller, more compact lawn, 60 -65 litres for an average lawn and 70 litres up for average to large lawns. You will have to empty at some stage but you can certainly extend your Zen-ability by thinking carefully about what size mower and catcher you need in the first place.
5. Robots: The Perfect Buddhists – Automatic Robot Lawn Mowers
Robots would make excellent Buddhists. They carry on about their business calmly, with total focus and devotion. They make no demands, only use what fuel they need and are silent unless asked to make a noise. Taking the Zen of lawn mowing to its limit, Automatic Robot Lawn Mowers are the ultimate in stress-free turf care. i.e The robot does it for you. Unlike a human gardener, they don’t turn up late, throw roll-up butts on your borders or peer through your windows when you least expect it. Automatic Robot Lawn Mowers are capable of mowing areas of up to 5 acres (20,000m2). Battery powered, so environmentally friendly, they come with a range of features, some include rain sensors, mulching and self-programming and some models can even work out the size of your lawn and how fast the grass grows. This means you can leave them to work while you chill and contemplate your own navel… or even someone else’s if you so wish. Gross.
So. Grasstickler, I hope my humble attempts to illuminate the darkness have helped. If you have your own thoughts on the Zen of Lawn Mowing, or any ideas on how to make garden care easier in general, why not share them with us, and post them here on our Facebook page.
See ya.
Holly Ashcroft
