All The Leaves Are Down – Autumnal Sonnets and Seasonal Deals

When it comes to this time of year I like to breathe a sigh of well-wrapped up contentment and take a walk in the fresh autumn air.  How could one not be moved by the beauty of this season, a misty, twisty, magical time when golden, brown and russet hued leaves flutter fairy-like through the autumn air, wafting like snowflakes and clogging up your drains.

Mellow fruitfulness? Yeah right!

It is the season of Keats’s “mellow fruitfulness”, a time when laughing children bang horse chestnuts on strings against each other, trying to win their conker the coveted title of ‘Sixer’ and desperately hoping the health and safety executive haven’t noticed they are not wearing goggles, having already been told climbing trees to get the conkers in the first place is not safe for the little poppets.

It’s a time when every member of the family starts to put the heating on except the breadwinner, who tells everyone to stop being a wuss and put more layers on.

A time when lovers, hand in glove-covered hand, wearing the first colourful scarves of the season and looking suspiciously like Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, skip gaily through the city’s parks, kicking recklessly through piles of leave to the angry shouts of park keepers only to find dog-poo on their shoes when they get home.

A time when… yes. Enough. You get it. Autumn and its burnt umber tones may be chocolate box pretty if you live in Connecticut or Sussex, or perhaps in Nutwood with Rupert the Bear and his annoyingly well-behaved chums or if you are on some jolly adventure with Paddington and Mr Gruber in Kensington Gardens, or perhaps catching falling leaves with Piglet and Winnie the Pooh (what is it with this bear obsession?). However, it can get a bit much when you are trying to go about your business in a big city, your council has pretended they don’t see the leaves at all, your postman has slipped and broken his coccyx and and your lawn is crying out for help with the suffocation.

Subsequently, as highlighted by our good friend and colleague Dick Roberts yesterday, you might want to think about investing in a quiet but very powerful battery powered leaf blower, a good, efficient leaf sweeper or a jolly good quality lawn vacuum from our extensive and well-priced range.

However. I am on another mission today. It seems that every Tom, Dick and Harry becomes dewy eyed and romantic when when autumn’s golden glow arrives, and starts writing poetry with an alacrity that puts the average red setter to shame. Keats, Rossetti, Frost and Mr William Shakespeare, all have committed pen to paper or quill to parchment on this subject and so it behoves me, with my English Literature A level, to have another go myself (if you are a regular reader you will know I trot out some attempt at this art form every now and then)

Gadzooks! Nothing rhymes with automatic chain tensioning

Yes, we all know Mr William Shakespeare was one of the greatest poets and dramatists ever, but could he have waxed lyrical about the latest battery powered chainsaw or written verse extolling the virtues of a Mountfield Ride-on Tractor? I think not.

So in tribute to the bald and bearded bard of Avon and all the other clever writers who have scrunched through the fallen leaves of literature to enlighten and entertain, here is my very particular sonnet to the garden machinery autumn…


Sonnet Number 2 – By Holly Ashcroft

When autumn’s mantle falls upon the ground

And grey skies lour like grubby sheets above

Where are the clever people to be found,

Those who for falling leaves have no great love?

Where can they gain the power to clean up?

Where will they buy their sweepers and their vacs?

How can they clear their gardens and their paths

With clever blowers using battery packs

Do they all to the superstores embark

With traffic jams to suffer, crowds to fight?

How do they purchase everything they need

In comfort, sitting smiling with delight?

The answer is so simple, they’ll have checked

The best of autumn deals at at MowDirect.

See? Eat your hearty out W.B. Yeats.

And of course it’s not just autumnal leaf clearing gubbins we have in our autumn deals. There are mowers and brushcutters and tractors and chainsaws and scarifiers and more deals than you can shake a leafless twig at. Do take a look, it’s well worth it.

And don’t forget, leaves on your lawn are a potential disease risk to your brass and leaves on your paths and driveways are a potential slip hazard.  So get clearing.

and if you need help and advice, call us on 0345 4588 905 and talk to one of our super product advisors. people like them…

“…impressed with the expert advice I was given… I couldn’t be happier. Five stars.”  TIM

See ya.     Holly.


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