Hedge of Darkness!

The dashed public spirited, wholesome and all knowing RHS tells us this week is a good time to give your hedges a final trim as they will not grow so much from now until the cold weather comes. Really? It’s mid August. Just to remind us of cold weather should incur a criminal charge and a hefty fine. I can’t believe they are already spreading the doom and gloom of freezing weather, icy rain and windy gusts from the Baltics. Cripes! I’ve only just got back from me jolly hols.

Anyway. When it comes to hedges, the RHS is right on the button. I’ve got a privet the size of Texas outside my study window and it needs a light trim at the very least! It’s casting so much shade you can sit in the study at lunchtime and think it’s bedtime. I call it the ‘hedge of darkness’ and to add to the shady atmosphere, Mrs Drew keeps giving me dark looks every time she walks past it and carrying out ominous snipping gestures with her fingers. I really hope those are aimed at the hedge!

In fact, she gives me dark looks every time it comes to hedges. We disagree pretty fundamentally on what a hedge should be. She wants frills, thrills, spills, shapes, excitement and exotic ideas like…

Mrs Drew's Hedge Dreams
…Mrs Drew’s Hedge Dreams…

…whereas I believe a hedge should be simple, straightforward and upright, like a proper British horticultural icon ought to be. A hedge is a living barrier, designed to keep out the enemy but not with too much aggression. Basically it’s a barbed wire fence made of privet…

KEEEP OUT!
…’KEEEP OUT!’…

…or hawthorn. Whatever. Anyway. Usually what we get is something in between. let’s face it, Mrs Drew doesn’t exactly attempt the trimming or shaping herself, she’s more of a director to my performance. In fact, that just about goes for anything in the garden. Mind you, as I have indicated, ‘performance’ is a little grand. Unlike Led Zeppelin, there’s nothing fancy going on in my hedgerow. It’s a garden not Willy Wonka’s personal playground.

My Old Friend - Tanaka THT-240
My Old Friend – Tanaka THT-240

Not for me though the excesses of giant dinosaurs, Christmas puddings, elephants and weird looking Lewis Carroll type chess pieces. I use my trusty Tanaka THT-240 Hedgetrimmer (low noise, great balance, Walbro carburettor) to do a bit of simple shaping, as it is a pro-style one sided trimmer it’s great for getting straight lines and sweeping up the front side of the hedge.

However, Henry Moore I am not and I have no intention of becoming some celebrated hedge artist who features on page 13 of the local news for cutting a Holly bush into the shape of Ellie Goulding’s legs.

Dear Santa, could I have...Oleo-mac-hc265-xp-petrol-hedgetrimmer
Dear Santa, could I have…Oleo-mac-hc265-xp-petrol-hedgetrimmer

My old double-sided hedgetrimmer has rather given up the ghost and gone to join the trimmers in the sky so, for more everyday pruning and trimming duties I have my eyes on thethe superb Oleo-Mac HC265XP Heavy-Duty Petrol Hedgecutter, new and exclusive to MowDirect and absolutely pro-quality with features like a primer and

lift-starter systems for easy cold starting, an anti-vibration system with four springs for complete handle isolation and a 180°, lockable swivel handle with five positions. I want it, I want it!

Mind you. If Mrs Drew keeps asking I may well have to become more creative. Rather like my friend who cuts his bushes into large animals, birds and other creatures in his rather humungous garden. But would you really want to encounter this chap (see left) as you came round the corner at dusk?

Scary Hedge!
Scary Hedge!

I’d run a mile, and so would Mrs Drew. Mind you, it might change her mind about fantastically shaped flora all over the garden… hmmmm. I must think about that.

Anyway. Don’t forget to trim those hedges around now, take a look at our fabulous range of petrol, electric or cordless hedgetrimmers and hedgecutters and enjoy your garden   Drew Hardy.

Be Sociable, Share!
Follow me