Hints & Tips
Just before I get on to the whole September Deal time ending thing, I have to say that the other day, while browsing through some of our product review pages (I’d finished Cosmo and there was no Time Out available) I read a lovely review of one of our products.
The machine in question was one of our log-spltters, the Al-Ko KHS5200 Electric-Powered Hydraulic Log-Splitter and the review read…
“Bought the machine for a nunnery. An excellent machine . Very sturdy and although heavy was easy to setup. Performs brilliantly and a major labour saving device for a group of nuns.” T.SAW
Delightful. At first glance it thought it must be a joke. “Blessed be the log-splitters, for they shall make stacks of firewood cheaply and without too much hassle.” But it is genuine. Go and look if you don’t believe me.
The famous lines from Hamlet, featuring Hamlet angrily talking to Ophelia came into my head “Get thee to a nunnery… and while you’re at it, here’s half a yew tree, can you make some firewood?”. Elsinore must have been freezing at the best of times and no doubt Polonius was forever forgetting to close the windows.
It might have helped if they’d had a log-splitter in “The Sound of Music” They could have used the logs to knock those horrid Nazis over the head.
Seriously, I know nuns work very hard, and I know a certain amount of toil is supposed to be good for the soul, building character and all that, and I bet my best Gucci shoes they don’t have central heating, so fireplaces and logs would be a precious commodity, but are they actually allowed labour saving devices? Not in my Friend Sinead’s Convent School days. She says it was all elbow grease and tough love back then. Do they use food-processors now or does the beating of the eggs still have to be done by hand? I ask you. Does Sister Baptist use a vacuum cleaner or a Cinderella type besom broom affair? Think about it. Did Noah use a chainsaw to build the ark? No. Did Adam whip out a hover mower to maintain the garden of Eden? No.
I am being mischievous of course. I daresay modern nuns must exist in the modern world, and I’m sure The Little Sisters of the Splintered Kindling are working as hard as ever. However, the image of all these acolytes using a log splitter tickled me somewhat, as well as reminding me that log-splitting season is fast approaching. Soon the need for firewood will be apparent and our log splitters will again be flying off the shelves and being delivered to monasteries, abbeys and convents everywhere.
Anyway. The main purpose of this little piece of frippery is to point out that September is ending soon. This means…
1/ Our September Deals will be finishing this coming weekend with chainsaws, brushcutters, mowers and tractors at knockdown prices. Get them quick or they have gone with the wind.
2/ Log-splitters will be ago-go yet again and you better watch out for our fabulous deals. In particular think about looking at popular top machines like the one in our super-star pages. I’m talking about the five star rated MD 4-Ton Electric Horizontal Log-Splitter. It’s a little stormer.
You can get expert advice and help from our crack team of friendly product gurus here…0345 4588 905 and they are ever so good…“Excellent Service…Service and advice were excellent, the team’s product knowledge is second to none” STUART
…but do hurry…those nuns might want another one. See ya. Holly.